The first draft is your brain on caffeine.
The second is your ego in control.
But the third draft?
That’s where the pro shows up.
If you’re stuck writing lyrics that feel like filler, clichés wrapped in rhyme, or emotional mush that even you don’t believe, don’t panic. Most songwriters don’t suffer from a lack of talent, but a lack of editing skills.
Let’s fix that.
Here are 5 lyric-writing pitfalls I see all the time, and how to eliminate them in your third draft, when it actually matters.
1. Vague Emotion ≠ Relatable Emotion
The Pitfall:
You wrote:
“I miss you so much it hurts.”
Feels true. Sounds… generic.
That’s because “miss” and “hurt” are abstractions. They describe the emotion without showing it. And listeners can’t feel what they can’t see.
The Fix:
Swap out the feeling for an action or a scene.
Instead of saying some form of “I miss you,” try:
“I still cook two eggs like you’re here,
but yours go cold while I stare at mine.”
Now the listener sees the ache. They feel the absence in the routine.
To get started, scan your lyrics for emotional words—love, miss, pain, anger, freedom—and rewrite them using sensory detail or physical behavior.
2. General Language Dulls the Blade
The Pitfall:
“You wore shoes and a dress.”
That line tells us what, but not who.
When you use generic nouns—shoes, dress, car, house, tree—you leave the listener floating in ambiguity.
The Fix:
Zero in.
“You wore red Chucks and a sequined thrift-store dress.”
Now we’re in the room. Now we know her.
Here’s what to do next: On your third draft, highlight every noun in your lyrics. Ask:
- Is this the most specific version of this noun I can use?
- Would a stranger know what I mean without asking?
Bonus: Specific nouns often pull up surprising rhymes you wouldn’t find with broader terms.
3. Describing Labels Instead of Living Characters
The Pitfall:
“He’s a rebel.”
“She’s a dreamer.”
“I’m just a broken soul.”
These are labels, not lyrics. They tell us what the person is, but not how they live. It’s shorthand for complexity, and that’s a trap.
The Fix:
Paint the picture.
“He peeled out in his rusted Mustang,
flicking ashes on a ‘No Smoking’ sign.”
Now that’s a rebel. Not because you said so, but because we saw it happen.
When editing your third draft, replace any identity label with a moment—an action, a decision, or a snapshot that proves the trait you’re trying to express.
4. Too Many Adjectives, Not Enough Muscle
The Pitfall:
“She had long, silky, flowing, golden hair.”
“The cold, dark, empty night was silent and still.”
This is purple prose in a pop song. You’re stacking adjectives to feel poetic, but they just slow the song down.
The Fix:
Cut the fluff. Strengthen the verbs.
“She shook her hair like a match about to strike.”
“The night crouched over me like a cat waiting to pounce.”
Here are 3 steps to make your third draft stronger:
- Circle every adjective.
- Ask: Can I delete it or replace it with a stronger verb?
- Tighten the line so the image hits fast and clean.
5. Hazy Timelines and Lazy Quantifiers
The Pitfall:
“We stayed out for a while.”
“I think I kinda always loved you.”
“Sometimes I felt something.”
These aren’t lyrics. They’re hedges. They rob your lines of power.
The Fix:
Use numbers. Use time. Get specific.
“We stayed out until 3 AM,
arguing about Bowie vs. Prince.”
“I loved you for exactly 49 days before you kissed me.”
“You made me cry 6 times. I only remember 3.”
See the difference?
When editing, hunt down every “some,” “a while,” “kind of,” “thing,” or “sometimes.” Replace them with clear, countable, visual facts.
Want a Template to Clean Your 3rd Draft Fast?
Use this quick checklist every time you hit draft three:
- Replace abstract feelings with visual actions
- Trade vague nouns for specific objects
- Cut character labels and show their behavior
- Kill unnecessary adjectives and use vivid verbs
- Swap hedging words for concrete details or counts
Print it. Tattoo it. Tape it to your guitar case.
Your first draft is the spark. Your second is the sketch. But your third?
That’s where the song earns its spot in someone else’s memory.
Give it the work it deserves.
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